The Procastinator....

Browsing my FB page pointlessly
I found myself wondering, what Am I looking for?
Why is it that I am scrolling up and down this page,
when I can get up and do something better?
May be I could brush my teeth or decide to finish cleaning my table
May be I could read a book or plan for tomorrow's meeting?

In fact I could just fix my dress, the one I've stashed away so far behind
Or may be I could just grab the newspaper and see whats going on around?
What about that letter that I was writing to my friend
Or the scrapbook that I have planned to have for almost an eternity now?

What about the cozy doze of sleep, the one my eyes are craving for?
What about that Vitamin pill, the one my body is yearning for?
But I don't hear these voices,
Where did I lose them?
Was it my broken heart or was it my unfulfilled dream?
Was it watching others get what I wanted
Or was it simply because I could not love myself?

Deeper and deeper into this debris I went
Until I could not find my way back
I waited for the next day to make itself better
And swore I would take it up from there

But unfortunately for so many of us
Good things we can do to ourselves, lie completely in our hands
No prince in a shining armour would come and save our day
We would have to be our own Knight

I have procrastinated for too long
I have waited too long for my mind to clear
This wait is getting boring now
This wait is getting hopeless now

So its time to get up and work off that extra fat
Its time to sleep tight and sleep like a log
Its time to eat food that touches your soul
Its time to take up that hobby that keeps you engrossed
Its time to write a letter to your friend
Its time to call your loved ones and say you love them

When else would we do these if we procrastinate till the end
'Kaal karae so aaj kar, Aaj kare so ab,
Pal me parlay hoegi, bahuri karaega kb?'

Why should we not give up

It is unfortunate, how the good is difficult and bad easy. It is unfortunate how, good seems to take too long, while bad is almost always happening. Its unfortunate how troubles leak in when all you want to do, is be responsible, help others, help yourself to be a better person. And above all, it's unfortunate, how we give up even before we start or otherwise before we reach our goal. We start off with good intentions, hopes, wishes, aims. But out of the blue, some or the other resistance turns up. It may be miscommunication, it may be overdoing some emotion, it may be ignorance , it may be opposition from other people, it may be fear/disappointment/health , it may be just plain bad luck, it may be the thought 'what would people say' or whatever.   In my case, I realized, it is almost always me. I wonder about all the resistances and let them affect me- so completely- 90% of the time.

But once in a while, we probably grow tired of giving up itself. 

When we let all the hopelessness creep in for quite some time, we probably cannot remember what we were like when we were happy, what we wanted, how did we tackle with problems, what did we dream of. Somehow our existence itself seems blank, purposeless. Question is, is it really like that? If you are in a depressed or given-up state, you would probably say 'Yes, it is'. Some might even go ahead and justify it. Well at least I did. There was a point in my life when all I could see around me was office politics, relationship politics, unhealthy fitness levels, corrupt people flying high, miscommunications, helplessness, hopelessness. In fact, it still scares me to remember those days. It brings back ugly memories and bad emotions along with it. When I let my emotions consume me, I become someone I can no longer recognize. It is hard to justify yourself to the entire world, but sometimes we fail to justify to our own selves. If you have reached this state, believe me, you are not alone.

But people have reached these states and worse ones and come back from them. The amount of effort it takes to do that properly, is enormous. But once done, it transforms lives. It develops a personality that we were probably seeking for so long, in others. You can be proud of yourself and rightfully so. So if you have reached that bottom, allow yourself your emotions for some time, but get up and work yourself out of it. As and when you try, so will you get your solutions.

So don't give up, because may be getting up and fighting back for your purpose, will feel better than getting what you want and deserve, easily.

Nice thought..

“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.” — Haruki Murakami

Gyan of the day..1dec13

Losing teaches a person to fight.

Keep Losing, Keep Winning... :).

When its raining...

What happens when it rains
that I want to just stare at it
that I want to hear the tipper tapper
that I want to see the drops fall and splash
Is it the running kid who shouts with glee
Whose brother follows him mimicking the same?
Is it the dog who suddenly realizes it is wet
and comes home to shrug itself dry?
Is it the tree that seems to dance
swaying its leaves as they wash themselves clean?
Is it the smell of the wet earth
so intoxicating that I crave to eat it. :P..
Is it the cool breeze that reminds me
to let myself release a strangled moment
and let it go away with the wind?
Is it the nostalgic memory of
running in the lawn with my dog after the rains
trying to see if it brought out a frog
or may be dropped a fruit off some tree?
Or is it just the faces around me
suddenly serene and thinking
probably the same things as me?

Click goes the shutter...

I bought myself a Canon 550D somewhere around the mid of 2011. Actually it was a little before the mid I guess. Either ways, never mind. Here's the thing, I think this is the best way I utilize my free time.

I developed a fancy for Canon stuffs from my Dad. He had a Pentax SLR and when he used to use it, well he did a great job. I however did not come to appreciate the details until much later.

It is true that with the sudden spurge of wide range of cheap DSLRs, the number of people carrying a 'BIGGISH' camera has increased a lot. I once read someone complaining everybody seems to be buying DSLRs these days and thinking themselves to be big-shot photographers. Well, I would not like to comment on that, although yes, I would like to mention that the power of these cameras does make you feel good. ;).

I started off with the standard kit lens- 18-55mm. About an year and few months later, I bought myself a 50mm f1.8 lens. This is when I fell in love with sharp images. Although I was worried about the pentagonal bokehs and noisy machinery of this lens, it just did not matter after the first few click.

However my endeavors to take better and more memorable pictures is highly motivated, scrutinized, criticized and improved by one person to whom I owe all my basic camera knowledge and the technical info behind some simple rules to ensure a nice picture. This guy is my friend and pretty much camera-mentor- Prateek. Needless to mention he has had an unfaltering and self motivated dedication take better pictures everyday. If you would like to check out his work you can visit his facebook page:

https://www.facebook.com/prateeksengarphotogprahy?fref=ts

As for me, well I'm still a novice. Some unexpected appreciations feel cool.:). And it really motivates me too. But most of all, as I said, this hobby is the best way I utilize my free time. Constructive and learning, it allows me to widen my imagination and since there are no deadlines to meet here, I can pick whatever pace I wish to proceed in. :). I do love photography. :).

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Moumitas-Photography/331558076962825

That's my page. I will feel very happy if you like it enough to hit 'Like' . You know that would post my latest uploads in my page to your wall and may be make you feel better??? I don't know. But no harm in me trying.. right.. ;)..

My Jabberings...Part-I

I don't remember the last time I blogged. I often thought though, that I should write more often. Well i did, but mostly in my personal Diary, so that was definitely not public blogging. But I don't know why, today I found myself driven to blog. May be because ever since college + 1 year after that, my life has nowhere followed my general plan and today I feel the weight of all that pouring over me and overwhelming me in a (mildly putting) strange manner. Now I had the option of talking about all the stuffs that went out-of-plan OR I could just totally treat them as a 'bygone' and instead reflect on the 'Gyan' that I have been mulling over lately. In all honesty, both are difficult topics and an elaboration in its true sense, would probably make me so bored, that I would drop blogging for another couple of years may be. That's one of the things that has become of me lately. Investing time in a hobby sounds great under two situations:
1. When my soul feels a sudden stir and I realize I should not waste so much time of life by being unproductive.
2. When I feel completely frustated by the fact that I am definitely overworked in the weekdays and that a break is essential for me.

This blog, after sooo many ages, is thankfully not related to either. It is sort of spontaneous and Thank you God for that.

Anyone reading this post up until now, will probably guess that all I'm doing is jabbering. This blog is completely pointless and since I write what comes to my mind 'spontaneously' it is more than clear how unkempt my mind is right now. Well, still I'm posting this because you know when you don't initiate things on your own , but rather wait for things to come to you, you often waste more time than you care, so why not at least TRY to start ourselves.

So that's it... this is me... struggling with myself to just maintain my sanity sometimes. Trying to find the right ways to stand up for what I think is right. Trying to learn something that makes me feel good about me. Trying to keep those people happy who make me happy. Trying to be someone with some decent civic sense. Trying to do too many things at a time sometimes... I don't know if their are more like me, but I am trying to separate the thought and needs of my brain and body. Well, actually I had this plan for a few years now. It feels awful to put it up that way but hey, if this it it, then this it is. Besides I have no idea if anybody cares to read this blog anyway... :P....